Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying.
(Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud “snort” noises.)
I don’t know why parents don’t do this more often.
Usually it makes the kid laugh.
Sometimes it sends him into shock.
Either way it quiets him down.
If you’re a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage.
Keep it up until the kid is a teenager
and he definitely won’t have his friends hanging around your house all the time.

~ P.J. O’Rourke